Tag Archives: truth

Truth = no apologies

24 May

D. would never presume to break my heart without me knowing it. There is no subterfuge in him, no apologies in his wants, desires and demands. He says what he means and means what he says.

I always said that that’s the kind of man that I want. After the games and half-truths (or outright lies in some cases) with the men in my past, I have nurtured a healthy respect for honesty and trust. This song is about that. It’s about being lied to, about believing that the person is what he portrays himself to be. It’s about being taken by surprise, the ground falling beneath your feet and realizing you were alone the whole time.

I see that still, not in my marriage, but in other people’s relationships. I understand and I can empathize because sometimes, truth can also be a burden, a stab in the heart, instantaneous instead of delayed. But, I would choose that over an unceremonious unveiling after a period of ignorance. I choose truth over being taken for a ride.


Sticks and stones

13 Apr

may break my bones, but words can hurt me more.

D tends to blurt his truths and promptly forget about them while I bury mine. Not forgotten, but neither is it fully remembered. Until that one unguarded moment when I bear the wrath of it – a sentiment unspoken becomes almost overwhelming when it bubbles forth, unchecked.

Once, a long time ago, I said something in pure anger over the phone. Silence. Then D catapults his own words at me, n times as damaging, ringing with finality. The pain for both of us felt like somebody ripped your skin off and that somebody happened to be the person you trust the most. In that instance, it doesn’t matter who said what. It hurt us both.  By disrespecting each other, we disrespect the love that we bear for one another.

So, I hold my silence and take care with it until I’m ready. Because I’m aware of the damage of words: carelessly thought and thrown, half formed and irrational, formed in anger and impatience. So, I take my time. The problem with that is, there are other things to do and sentiments get shelved like canned vegetables. One forgets about them until it’s time to clean the pantry.