Becoming

2 Sep

The useless days will add up to something….These things are your becoming.

I found these words through the marvelous and prolific curator Brain Pickings, from Cheryl Strayed’s Dear Sugar column which was turned into a book.

I’m always moving and if I’m not, I feel like I’m doing something wrong. It takes me days or long periods of stress to take time to relax. I’m not saying I’m always doing something productive or effective – I’m just doing and not really just *being*; at rest or just becoming: letting the things around seep into me and help me in my *becoming.*

I’ve done a lot in my life in terms of living different lives (job-wise; with no apparent career path), different cities, different countries, various sets of friends. But it’s only been in the past 2 years that I’ve been building up to something that I hope will be here in the next 10-20 years: family life, career, business, love, friends. In a way, from my past experiences, I decided to curate my own life.

Pardon me if I’m ramble. Today is my birthday if the post below failed to give you a clue. A few years ago, my idea of a birthday party was to invite 50 of my “close” (I don’t mean anything derogatory with the quotes; merely to impart that some of them may not have been close, after all) friends, make some bottomless lychee martinis and arrange to go to a club after. Today, I’m writing, working on a math assignment, going for brunch with 1 friend, going to the library to study and then a quiet dinner with D.

I don’t know that I’ve really changed so radically as to eschew the martinis or the partying but I’m just in a completely different mindset right now – meaning I’ve learned to prioritize. It’s just that right now, I’m working hard so that in a couple of years from now, I can party *and* feel accomplished.

Having said all that, every little thing has been part of my becoming and I am grateful – for all the experiences and the friends I’ve accumulated over the years. Happy birthday to me. I’ll drink to that (holding my coffee up for a toast).

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One Response to “Becoming”

  1. S. September 8, 2012 at 6:50 pm #

    Beautiful words from a beautiful person…

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